5 Resolutions

5 Resolutions . Corny as it ma be, I am jumping on the bandwagon this year.

1. Jog a full marathon.  I’ve been wanting to do this for years. I had forgotten how much I love and need to live an active lifestyle. There is too much energy and love for outdoors in me to stay stay holed up indoors. If that goes well, it would be pretty badass to work my way up to an ultramarathon, but that is for the future. As of now, I am going to work on flexibility and endurance.  1 completed marathon is on my checklist for the year.

2. I’m going to volunteer somewhere that is helping either animals or people. A Women’s Shelter, Humane Society, AA sponsor, or at any organization affiliated with helping those down on their luck get back to a spot where they feel they can achieve control back over their lives. I could not have done so without the help from other people. It is with realistic and hopeful goals that I give my resources and help in areas I know all too well. It will help heal me as I help others heal. This may be a part time gig or turn into a more serious endeavor. It is time I gave back in a way that reaches the ones in low spots. I wish to be the type of help that surpasses kind words, the kind of help people remember.

Coming to terms with heavy life questions, I see it is the service of human compassion. I refuse to do so for money. Like many before have stated, money solves little and although helpful to have, it does not take away problems or create miracle cures. I have never been much for working without meaning. Now, I can work the way I was meant to. It is not for respect, it is my responsibility. I will give hope and heal in the way that suits my personality best: no ulterior motives, to rid superficiality from my life, and to meet people on their level and “know” them through periods of life where it shows human spirit in its flaws and goodness.

3. I will speak with anger if I am angry; I will speak with happiness if I am happy;  I will speak with sadness if I am sad; and I will speak with honesty and clarity in both trivial and serious issues. I will never water myself down to rules that take away human vulnerability. I will not speak with kindness to what is wrong and cruel in life. Labels and criticism will be met with different versions of me depending on the topic. I will be known for both my wrath and humility. I have thought long and hard. These are open to change as is everything if new information comes up to refute my way of thinking.

Every decision made will be thought out and the way I live will never follow another’s dictates on what or how they view life or situations. It will be known that I am as hard as I am soft and neither are dependent on anyone. My understanding will be through listening to another’s view, but my mind and behaviour will be based solely on personal decisiveness. Nobody is blamed, ridiculed, or shown lacking. Thoughts and actions will be placed where placement belongs.

I will be and say my truth and people may come and go as they please without gudges felt or had on my behalf. I will answer to no person for my.personality. If anyone so chooses to confront me, they will be met with my inner fire or water depending on what I think best to eliminate barriers or misunderstanding.  I do not believe in halfassing anything. My personality is not here to please you and your way of thought. I am here to act and to speak with integrity, how I define such, and my person will not be approached or met without real consideration on if someone is ready to meet me in fire or water. I do not act aggressively or with calm without consideration on all angles. I will do the ugly to prevent that ugly from spreading without pause. It is not a topic open for discussion. Respect it or criticize, I will still do what I consider to be best. Few see my full anger and it is rare I will cut a person down to make a serious point. If I do, know it isn’t with glee. It is as serious as my anger is once pushed that far.

There is a poetic ginger in me…thoughtlessly coming at me will get you no where if you do so in superficiality or ignorance. I will not tell you who or what to be or that you are wrong or right if it is an area I have little expertise in. Others will know the same applies to me. Approach me carefully or not at all in my zero grey areas. Respect I give no matter the difference of opinion on topics of discussion. Respect is given when I see someone can live and let live with their own balance and personality. I love passion and it will ever intimidate me to be around those that are better than me. It will only up my drive to be and do better f I think ita worthwhile pursuit. I am loyal to the end, but that requires the other person showing it. Not always, not when I think it should be shown, but the care shown, even in small acts, at one point or another.

I do not make people care or give time to me. I simply notice and remember “any time” anyone has reached out. That is all that is needed and was needed. If I have kept you on my profile, you have no worries as to what I think of you. It means you all have, in some way, already cemented my reepect or bond no matter other’s opinion on you. We all are in control of our own lives. I will be there for each of you. All you need do is reach out. I hope you don’t. That means your life is going well which is what makes me content for anyone I know. Ups and downs happen. That is not judged in my book. It never will be.

4. I want to further my writing. First, I start with my blog. I have no idea if this will be a cool hobby or major career, but I am going to spend each day shaping my voice. I want to be one of the female writers known for having a strong voice. It is ever in the works and something that never gets old.

5. I want to work on being a great wife and support to Taylor. This level of love and trust came out when we started down this journey together. I’m going to spend time looking up healthy recipes to cook and see what I can do better to help his long days spent at work. We will be a great team and I will be to him hat he has been to me for years. He is my rock. I will now be his as well. I think we’ll make a great team. A mouthy team lol but our help and loyalty is hard to find. We don’t drink, party, or smoke. We achieved this together. Time to tackle fitness and getting more involved.

This year will be one to remember. I am letting go. I achieved what I relentlessly stuck with for three years: clarity. Time to get back to me being happy amd active. Friends will come and go. I appreciate the ones who stay and understand my personality on a deeper level. I plan on actively appreciating you all more now that I can stand on my own again. Love to you all. I hope your pains diminish and your goals hold true. Most of all, I wish for your happiness.

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Published by

beardedlady25

I make love to words and try to keep generalizations to a minimum. My inner voice was stilled for years. It is screaming; my thoughts are exploding. and I want to think and feel, unburdened by structure and singularity. I want to write because I like to write. It is that basic and intrinsic in me. This Aspie is taking back her soul, one written word at a time. :)

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